I’m Going Through a Divorce, So I Can’t “Date.” Are There Resources for Me?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’m presently going through a divorce and am in desperate need of someone to talk to. I’m separated but not divorced yet, so I really can’t “date.”

Are there resources out there for someone in my position?

-John (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear John,

Divorce is one of the biggest life stressors and I understand your need to process your feelings with another person.

I also applaud the idea that you understand dating right now would be inappropriate. It would also be fruitless because, in your mental state, you might not be good company.

Single people report dates who talk about their ex too much are a turn-off.

But you need to talk to someone, so I highly suggest you find a therapist who can give you space and guidance to express your feelings.

If cost is a problem, check with your health insurance company to see if they cover any mental health issues.

The only “diagnosis” you might receive is that of an “adjustment disorder,” meaning you are adjusting to a big life change. Also, you might check with your local university psychology department, where affordable counseling clinics are available.


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