Our Fourth Date Was Disappointing. Should I Bring It Up?

David Wygant David Wygant • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I met this girl. We had three amazing dates where we both sensed our connection. All the dates have been fun, some kissing, lots of great conversations and generally promising.

The problem is the fourth date was disappointing in comparison. I missed lots of opportunities to build on conversation threads, had less eye contact, less laughing, etc. We kissed good night and kept it open about who would call.

When I text to say I looked forward to seeing her again soon, I didn’t get an answer. I’m sensing the next move is important.

Should I bring up the date and acknowledge it wasn’t so great, or should I breezily try and just move on and set up a fun activity date?”

-William (Massachusetts)

David Wygant’s Answer:

Hey William,

Stop sensing it’s a move. This isn’t a game. This isn’t Dungeons and Dragons online. A lot of guys don’t understand dating is not about making a move.

Dating is about feelings. Dating is about shared experiences. Dating is about a feeling.

Call her on the phone and ask her out again. Stop relying on texting so much.

It’s amazing so many people are always thinking about the move. You want to see this woman again, so call her on the phone.

Don’t bring up the date and acknowledge it wasn’t so great. You’re allowed to have an awkward day. Not every moment is going to be perfect.

So you’re next move is to call her up on the phone. Ask her out and have fun. Laugh, kiss, enjoy each other.

She could have just been having an off night, and you could’ve been having an off night.

Don’t make a big deal about it, William. Let me know what happens.


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