She Freaked When I Texted Another Woman. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I met this wonderful woman. We fell in love and things were wonderful. Eventually she and her son moved in with me and my son.

I texted another woman who was just a platonic friend. When she saw I texted another woman, she freaked out. She stayed in my back bedroom for an entire week and refused to let me talk to her.

She then dropped the “Let’s just be friends” bomb on me. She still lives with me and I’m really much in love with her.

What should I do?

-James (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear James,

I have to be honest. You moved too fast and uprooted the lives of two innocent children.

And now you’ve discovered your new love has really poor conflict resolution skills, if not a personality disorder. Stonewalling is the single best predictor of divorce.

My advice: Separate and seek family counseling for your son and you. And if your girlfriend wants even a friendship with you, you need to insist she seek counseling with you to learn some healthy communication styles.

This is a unique opportunity to model some healthy behaviors for your kids. Being a doormat to this woman will not attract her love back. Grow a backbone and put the kids’ needs first.

If she doesn’t respect that, then she doesn’t deserve your love.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.