She Has Feelings for a Guy Friend. Do I Ignore This Problem?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

This is the second time my girlfriend and I have broken up because of feelings for another man. After seeing a message between her and a friend, I discovered she has strong emotions for her guy friend. She said she thinks she’s only with me because she knows she doesn’t have a chance with him.

Do I ignore this problem and hope she loses feelings for her friend, or do I move on?

-Andrew (New Jersey)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Andrew,

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you and uses you as a doormat, lock the door.

This is the second time she has fallen for another guy while being with you. That must hurt. But hanging in there, hoping she’ll fall more deeply committed to you, is a prescription for disaster.

Since it seems she’s mostly attracted to people she doesn’t have a chance with, why don’t you make yourself more attractive and not ever give her another chance with you.

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