She Said We’re Moving Too Fast. Should I Give Her Space?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I went on a date with a girl after three weeks of Skyping. The date ended up back at my house and we fooled around. We continued talking sexual after she got home that night and a couple days after. She told me she feels she has the best of both worlds, a physical and intellectual attraction with me.

After a week, our second date came around. That morning and afternoon I didn’t hear from her. I asked if anything was wrong to just tell me, so she told me things we’re moving too fast. I offered to slow things down. She then told me she didn’t feel a spark.

What can turn a woman’s decision like that? Should I move on or give her space?

-Chris (New Jersey)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Chris,

You don’t really have a choice. You don’t have to give her space because it sounds like she’s taken her space anyway.

In answer to your question, I have a couple answers:

First, it is very common for women to behave in a sexual way early on in a relationship because they think sex leads to love for men in the same way it can for women. So, they give a man what they think he needs to like them.

She may have reconsidered the speed at which you guys went from hello to sexy talk, and she does not know how to scale back and renegotiate the relationship.

The other possibility is she met someone she is more attracted to. It’s sad, but these things happen.

I’d wait a month or so and then do one PHONE CALL to check in and see where she’s at. If you get a cold response or no return phone call, then move on.

And, darling, stay off email and text. Call her up!


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