She Started Distancing Herself. Does She Want Me Anymore?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I met this girl through friends about two months ago. I asked her a few weeks ago where this is going, and she said she didn’t want a serious relationship. That’s perfect because neither do I.

She just started distancing herself. She continues to tell me she just needed to do her own thing for a few days. She also said she feels we are moving a little fast.

I have not done anything to make her feel pressured to getting into a relationship. I just like exactly what we have.

Do you think she doesn’t want me anymore, or does she genuinely really just need some space?

-Michael (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Michael,

What do you “have” exactly? You both don’t want a relationship. She thinks it is on the fast track to one. You say you don’t pressure her. And I am very confused.

I suspect you want one of three things from her:

1. A platonic friendship

2. A no-strings-attached sexual friendship

3. A slow growing romantic relationship that involves friendship and sex.

I know you like exactly what you have, but maybe you should be clear with yourself about what it is and what you hope it will eventually be.

Then explain that to her. Her reaction will be your answer.


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