She Started Ignoring Me. Is She Playing Hard to Get?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’ve known this girl for about three months now. We exchanged numbers and emailed quite often as to when to meet to study. She seemed interested in me. We even went for dinner (I don’t think this was a date though). All of a sudden she started to kind of ignore me, even though she still responds immediately on Gchat.
What I know is that she broke up with her boyfriend in August. She has also hidden her relationship status on Facebook, even though that guy is still friends with her. Many times when I call her for coffee, she says “maybe” or “perhaps.”
Is she really interested in me and playing hard to get, or is she just not interested?
-AL

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Al: Boy is she sending you mixed signals! She responds online and ignores in person. Her relationship status is ambiguous and she is noncommittal about getting together for coffee.
I know how this behavior can even feel attractive. We all want a partner who’s a little hard to get. But there is some information you are clearly missing, like if she’s even single.  It also sounds like the pursuit is all one-sided and this only tells me that you like her, not that she likes you.
Plenty of women keep a cadre of male friends online just for their own ego and then ignore them in public. My suggestion? I would drop out of her radar for a while. Put the ball in her court and you’ll get the info you are missing.

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