She Won’t Make Her Online Profile Invisible. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

We have stopped seeing other people until we decide if we are right for one another. We met on a dating site. My subscription ran out and I decided not to renew. Her subscription is still active.

She tells men who email her that she is seeing someone, but she will not make her online profile invisible. Her reasoning is we are not in a committed relationship, even though we have agreed to see only one another. She becomes defensive when we talk about this.

What should I do?

-Ron (Colorado)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Ron,

Bottom line: She is ambivalent and wants to keep her options open – and this is early in a relationship. You didn’t say how long but I assume you recently met.

I think you might have been premature in letting your dating profile lapse because now it has given you anxiety about this new, budding relationship.

You should breathe and contain yourself. If you want to go online to browse, that seems fair as she is doing the same.

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