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|Randy Mitchell • 10/09/15|
It’s 2014 and guess what? The fact remains approximately one-half of all marriages still end in divorce.
That’s always a startling number and definitely causes many to evaluate their thinking when hiking and stumbling through the dating world.
However, what do you do if you meet someone you really believe is The One? The only catch or source for concern is they’ve been married before – several times.
The divorce rates of people who have been married multiple times consistently rises as their number of marriages increase. One stat that really caught my attention was the 73 percent rate of those ending their third marriage.
It makes me wonder what they would be like after that. Can you say Liz Taylor, Zsa Zsa Gabor or J Lo?
First, in all fairness, divorce happens for many legitimate reasons: abuse (physical or mental), financial distress, loss of chemistry, lack of commitment, infidelity, marrying too young or maybe both parties had some unrealistic expectations.
The rationale usually flies in all directions about why couples split and none of us has the right to judge.
But if you’re one who’s looking for a first-time potential mate, these percentages should factor in while dating one who’s already walked down the aisle several times, man or woman.
I’ve never been one to disregard a one-time divorcee as a potential love interest, but with a two-time divorcee, it depends on their reasoning. One who’s been married three times or more, I have to admit I’m seeing major red flags.
I’ll confess I once saw someone who had three divorces to her credit. However, things didn’t exactly end up well. Infidelity, alcoholism and unkept expectations were reasons for her breakups.
The problem was the enduring emotional pain of all three left extremely long scars, affecting and keeping her from enjoying new and potentially healthy relationships.
“Everybody deserves love no matter
how many relationships they have.”
They want someone to grow old with, take care of, have their backs, raise children and build a financial nest egg each can benefit from. It’s only normal to want a partner who’ll make you their most important person.
But if they’ve been through all of this several times before, could you feel like you were The One they’ve always wanted?
Could you handle the fact that every time they said I love you, made love to you or visited the places and did the things they did with their exes, they were treading through already chartered waters?
And there’s the commitment factor — how serious would they take your marriage already experiencing and knowing the ins and outs of several divorces?
Some of the biggest challenges you could face while are their children, ex-husbands and former in-laws.
When someone has several marriages under their belt, there’s inevitably going to be kids and people they were once related to always in their lives. The question is can you handle that?
Are you going to like it when they need to communicate with an ex or two on a regular basis? And what if they have children (perhaps from each of their marriages)?
Believe me when I say you could easily start feeling like you’re just one in the crowd.
How much are you willing to deal with if you decide to marry this person?
For some, they can handle it if they are tolerant, extremely patient and dive in with both eyes open. For many others, it’s better to keep searching for one who better fits their lifestyle and idea(s) of long-lasting commitment.
Everybody deserves real love in their lives no matter how many relationships they have in order to find it.
But for those who haven’t gone through the experience and oftentimes painful outcome of several divorces, dating one like this should be approached both carefully and cautiously.
Have you dated or married someone who’s been divorced several times? Tell us about your experiences or ask us a question below.
Photo source: huffpost.com