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|Sam Stieler • 9/25/14|
Like it or not, texting is here to stay, so you better learn the standard rules of texting etiquette, especially when it comes to texting with the special woman in your life. Most importantly, you need to learn what you should never text women.
Before we start, please note this article assumes you’ve absorbed the fundamentals of texting — namely that you use proper spelling and grammar, you (sparingly) use emoticons to demonstrate your expressions, and you don’t text your woman too often. This last ground-level rule is the most important, as even high-quality texts will hurt your relationship if sent too often.
Now, here’s some advice on texting worth following:
A man needs to be able to express his emotions comfortably. A man needs to be able to tell his woman how much she means to him. But a man should pick how often he opts to speak these words, because overuse robs them of their meaning.
Telling your woman you love her a dozen times a day will drain the special nature of these words and give them the dull flavor of a perfunctory statement such as “hello” or “How was your day?”
And if you speaking the words “I love you” too often reduces their impact, how do you think these words fare when you start texting them?
“No matter how prevalent texting becomes, it will
never replace those moments you share with your woman.”
Most women don’t want a picture of your penis on their phone. I don’t make this statement to deny women the full scope of their sexual nature. Sexually speaking, women are just as filthy and perverted as men.
Women love sexual communication, and if I was writing an article on what you should send your woman via text, the very first thing I would mention would be naughty messages. But just because your woman likes to get down and dirty via SMS doesn’t mean a penis pic will turn her crank.
Genitals, both male and female, are bizarre looking when taken out of context — both out of bodily context and outside of the moment of a shared, tangible sexual experience. A close-up candid of your penis doesn’t look any more appealing to your woman than a close-up anatomical textbook picture of her vagina will appear to you.
Send all the highly suggestive pictures you want to your woman. But dirty text messages exist as a form of foreplay, not as a surrogate for the main event, so keep your photos above the belt.
When the time comes to end your relationship, the worst thing you can do is deal the death blow through your touchscreen. Breaking up with your woman with a text message demonstrates a lot of negative qualities.
A breakup text will make your woman feel like you never really cared about her, that you don’t respect your relationship, and that you can’t be bothered with any minor inconvenience to unburden yourself of your coupling.
And, worst of all, breaking up with your woman with a text message proves, beyond all doubts, you are a coward.
When you end your relationship, you need to be a man and do it in person, because no matter how prevalent texting becomes, it will never replace those powerful moments you need to share with your woman next to you.