The Pros of Dating Long Distance

September 17, 2012
The Pros of Dating Long Distance

Discussions concerning long-distance dating almost always revolve around the potentially negative fallout of these admittedly challenging relationships. Yet long-distance relationships provide just as many benefits as points against.

You simply need to dig a little deeper, and apply an unconventional outlook, to find the bright spots offered by dating from a distance.

Healthy emotional connections require space.

What usually happens when you meet a woman you share a powerful, practically instantaneous connection with?

  • The two of you meet and it’s electric.
  • At first your time together is wonderful.
  • The two of you progress emotionally at an accelerated rate.
  • The cracks start to appear in your relationship.
  • You end things dramatically and painfully.

Too many of us go through too many of these relationships too often. The emotional connection you feel with some women is so intense that it’s impossible to develop at a normal, natural and healthy pace when you are able to be in constant contact with each other.

If, however, you and your woman are forced to slow down your relationship’s progression, these incredibly intense relationships have a much higher chance of developing into a connection that lasts.


“Instead of considering distance an

impediment, think of it as an opportunity.”

Space defeats jealousy.

Whether your relationship is open because you or your woman just met and feel reluctant to immediately commit, or whether you and your woman simply prefer a non monogamous union, a little physical distance creates a great barrier to the sort of jealousy and drama that can sideline an otherwise healthy connection.

By living in different cities, you will both be able to play out the private elements of your dating life without openly comparing your activities with hers and without having to deal with the often immature external drama inherent with hooking up within any shared social circle.

However, remember this: If you’re going to act on the independence your long-distance relationship provides you, make sure you and your woman are on the same page regarding what is and isn’t allowed when it comes to getting involved with others.

Opportunities for a creative sexual connection.

Finally, instead of considering distance as a burden to you and your woman enjoying the sexual side of your relationship, think of distance as an opportunity to explore some of the elements of your shared sexuality you wouldn’t otherwise play with if you lived close to each other.

Phone sex, cyber sex (through chat or video), sexting, dirty emails, sexy pictures, and naughty “care packages” offer just a few avenues for exploring the less tangible, but no less powerful, elements of your sex life.

And if you do end up living closer to your woman, you better believe all the wonderful skills you honed during your previous time apart will help you keep you connecting in a more expansive and imaginative manner than you ever would if you didn’t have such helpful limitations forcing you to delve deeper.

Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes. Connect with him on Google+.

Related Topics:
Long Distance

8 Responses

    I was in a long-distance relationship for 7 months, and I can’t say I saw any positives to it. If you really care about that person, which you should obviously if you’re dating in the first place, you miss them immensely. But to each his own I guess.

      I dated a girl for 2 years, there wer bumps in the road but since we both started college at the same time we had time to focus on school and keep our grades up without each other as a distraction

      There are plenty of positives that come out of a long distance relationship. I married my girlfriend after 2 years of being on opposite ends of the country, and with all the lessons we learned and all the communication skills we developed, I can happily say our marriage is build on a solid foundation.

    I’ve never had a long distance relationship work out. :-( I was cheated on in one, and then the other, we wouldn’t see each other for 5 months, and then for another 6 months. I guess you both have to be definitely invested in it for it to work.

    However, I’m glad I did the things that I did that put the relationship as long distance because they were career/education-advancing thing.

    I’ve been in long distance relationships before and they are the hardest things to go through. All the jealousy, loneliness, and resentment gets to be too much sometimes.

    I have been in two long distance relationships and they do not work. They are perfect for guys that want to cheat or ‘keep their options open’. If you can handle an occational hook up, then they are great fun but they are nothing more…

      C. Price
      Cynthia Price (

      You’re right, Klair. Distance can really put a damper on a couple.

      If you’re up for an open relationship with your partner, that’s great! If not, it’d really be something to bring up before you go separate ways.

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