There’s No Such Thing as Perfect

Men's Dating

There’s No Such Thing as Perfect

Randy Mitchell Randy Mitchell • 9/25/14

In the crazy, challenging and oftentimes frustrating world of looking for a significant other, too many out there seem hung up on the fantasy that they’ll eventually find a “perfect” companion.

They look and hunt everywhere, going through dozens if not hundreds of dates only to walk away somehow feeling shorthanded and cheated, wondering why this or that person couldn’t be a little bit more of what they’re wanting.

Maybe it’s a person’s hair color, tone of voice, body shape, sense of humor, race, preference in movies or TV shows, religion, political opinions or that weird shaped nose or ass they just can’t get past.

On and on it goes until one day they wake up, look around and find that perhaps they were the one who needed some tweaking.

Being with someone always involves give and take.

And this is why so many never find satisfaction with the personalities entering their lives. For many men, only a perfect 10 will do.

For women, buddy, you better have the looks of Ryan Gosling, personality of their doting fathers, a sense of adventure like a Navy Seal, stamina of Tiger Woods and work part time in an animal shelter or Habitat for Humanity or you’ll soon be toast.

There’s no such thing as the perfect companion. Again, there is no such thing.

Of course, that doesn’t prevent many from clinging to the dream. For these folks, from what I’ve learned, their personality types contain several similarities.

Most are easy to spot from a distance and prevent lots from gaining lasting and committed relationships:

1. Unconditional love

They expect their mate to always agree and go along with them no matter what.

If they insist on living with the air conditioning set to freeze, TV always on their favorite shows or enjoy being surrounded by indoor pets, you best play along or hit the door.

Allergic to cats or dogs or warm-natured? Tough buddy, there’s no give and take in their world.

Wanna complain? They’ll just move on to the next guy. Wanna argue? The buck stops at their doorway.

If you aren’t agreeing and following, then you don’t love them.

2. Very specific about appearances

No dating anyone with a chicken neck, green eyes instead of blue, brown hair in lieu of blonde, a flat butt, height above a certain level or an extra pound of flab around the middle for these folks.

Nope, you best be lookin’ buffed, tucked, toned and ready to fill the pages of Men’s Health if you want to hang around for very long.

You could be the most caring, giving, supportive and loving person in the world, but wear a suit off the rack and your days are numbered.

“Being compared to

another is never fair.”

3. Control issues

I’ve noticed the pickier people are about dating, the more controlling their personalities.

They’re ones who decide which movies to see, roads to drive along, restaurants to dine in and God forbid you move something inside their home without asking.

Sometimes, no matter their gender, they insist on planning itineraries and always taking charge of the day or nights activities.

In my experience, controlling personalities are probably the single biggest reason for relationship failure and is why very few are deemed worthy of their companionship.

4. The narcissist

I’ve written before about narcissists and all of the above fits well inside this category.

These are the pickiest of all daters because they live within a world that exists to please them and only them. If you’ve ever dated someone like this, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Many wind up having many relationships, even multiple marriages, yet rarely do any of them last. And if they do, believe me when I say they’ll always be the ones wearing the pants.

Narcissists love to date multiple partners and often. You’ll see them registered on every dating site on the Web because it makes them feel good, popular and valued to get their winks, nods and multiple invitations.

However, finding fault with others instead of themselves is their biggest downfall. And rarely, if ever, would they be satisfied with just one person.

5. Bad past experiences

These are relationships killers but are something people can move past if they’re willing.

And if you’ve ever sat across someone who insists on talking badly about a former companion, you know what I mean. Lots of times they’re constantly comparing you just looking for clues.

Maybe someone in their past was an alcoholic, very abusive, a cheater or disliked their family. Therefore, if you have one too many drinks, occasionally disagree, glance at another woman or make an excuse when her family reunion hits the calendar, all eyes will be watching and judging.

Being compared to another is never fair. Unfortunately, some simply can’t get past former disappointments, making it hard to recognize and appreciate good, quality prospects.

All of us are different, unique and have something to offer. The trick is seeking out those who value who you are.

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