We Don’t Text Anymore. How Do I Get Her to Talk to Me?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 10/26/12

Reader Question:

I was talking to a girl for a little while and some of my friends tried to talk me into buying flowers for her. I didn’t want to do that because I thought it would be too much too soon. The same night she got the flowers she text me that she didn’t want a boyfriend right now and wanted to be just friends.

That wasn’t what I wanted, so I told her about my friends and that I might have accidentally rushed things in the process. She gave me the same response and said I could text her anytime. It was always me who text first, so one day I text her that I wasn’t going to text her anymore. Ever since I said that, we haven’t really talked. I see her a lot still because our departments are close together. I want to know if there might be a way to get her to start talking to me again.

-Daniel (Louisiana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh Daniel, I wish there was an easy way but you may have blown it with this one. I might have suggested that you simply stop texting her without warning or explanation. That can sometimes pique a girl’s interest.

I suspect your “exit text” was really an attempt to get her to respond. If there’s one slim chance with this girl (and there may not be at this time in your life), you could try ignoring her completely but still make sure she sees you with another girl.

Female competition can sometimes make a girl sit up and take notice. But, you may have learned a valuable lesson here: Go with your gut, not the wisdom of the boys club.


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