When is it OK to Take a Cheater Back?

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 9/25/14

When your girlfriend cheats, it is a devastating experience. Not only has she violated your trust and disrespected you, she has also cut to the very core of your manhood and emasculated you. This is a painful, gut-wrenching and downright maddening experience, to say the least.

If you’re with someone who hasn’t yet made it to the center of your heart, someone you haven’t dated long, it can be fairly easy to cut her loose and move on. If, on the other hand, you love this woman and miss her terribly, you may be considering letting her back into your life and giving her another chance.

Personally, I have never been able to forgive a cheater and move on, but it is possible that many relationships have grown stronger because of an act of infidelity. If she confessed to you that she cheated, it is because she feels terribly guilty, which is a good sign.

Most likely she immediately realized what a horrible mistake she made and is punishing herself far more than you ever could. Put some physical distance between the two of you and do some soul searching.

If you honestly think you can forgive her and move forward, give it another go, but make it clear this is the only second chance she will ever get. Work together to figure out what went wrong and commit to healing together.

In contrast, if she got caught cheating and denied it until she was backed into a corner, she can’t be trusted and will likely do it again. I say cut your losses and find a woman who will treat you right.