When to Let Her Go

Men's Dating

When to Let Her Go

Randy Mitchell Randy Mitchell • 9/25/14

When is your “Flashbulb Moment?”

In other words, when does that little voice inside speak up and say, “You’ve done all you can do. This relationship isn’t meant to be, at least not for you.”

Dating can be extremely challenging when one or both people aren’t firing on all cylinders.

We all go into relationships hoping for the best and desiring a great outcome. For most, this means marriage and children, or at least a long-term commitment that both can happily grow old with.

If you know you’re of high quality and you’ve given it your best efforts, sometimes your best just isn’t good enough. There are things missing.

Does any of this sound familiar?

After meeting the woman who matched everything you ever wanted, you tried and you tried. You weren’t passive or anyone’s whipping boy, but you were always there for her.

If she said she needed more of this or that emotionally or physically, you listened and quickly worked on the issues. You routinely gave her flowers, cards, etc. You supported her professional aspirations.

You made a gallant effort to fit in with her friends and family. You never missed a birthday or anniversary, and you always tried doing the little things women say they want (opening doors, helping with chores, saying no to golf, sending feel-good texts in the middle of the day just because, etc).

You never lied to her. You never cheated because even though you occasionally noticed another, the long-term success of your relationship was number one in your book. You were happy with what you had and you took things seriously.

Sometimes your bank account ran a little dry after a weekend filled with dinners, movies and trips to the mall, but that was OK because you wanted to please her and give it your best shot.

If animals aren’t your thing, you pretended to like her cats and dogs because they were part of the package.

“Walking away from someone

you care about is hard to do.”

You did all of this, but the basic return wasn’t there.

She didn’t reciprocate with the same effort or respect. She didn’t make time for you when you were willing to drop personal responsibilities and go to meet her.

Her needs, schedule and success overrode everything else, including you. She may have loved you in her own way, but love always came on her terms, conditions and time frame. If you weren’t willing to play along…

To summarize, it was always more about her than you, and it always would be. She simply wasn’t ready, willing or able to make adjustments to keep the relationship working.

As we age, we learn what we really want in relationships.

The moment when you know it’s time to walk away is different for everyone. Each of us has our breaking points, the limitations of what we’re willing to tolerate that makes us feel uncomfortable, unappreciated, unloved and insecure.

Many men and women have built up brick walls preventing them from becoming vulnerable to another. Others just aren’t capable of showing the kind of love all of us really want.

Walking away from someone you really care about is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. However, if it can only continue by sacrificing your personal value system, goals, pride and sense of worth, then it’s time to move forward.

When you arrive at a place of peace knowing you tried your best to make things work, then you’ll be able to leave. There will be no regrets, sorrow, pain or indecision – just a future with new possibilities.

Have you walked away from relationships that were one-sided? Tell us about them below.

Photo source: bp.blogspot.com.