Why Are Older Females Attracted to Me?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 10/05/12

Reader Question:

I’m now 34 years old and five years single. Most of my friends have a relationship but I don’t get out much. So I hit the dating sites but I get almost no answers. If a woman answers, she’s mostly older than me. This is a problem as I want children of my own one day.

Why are older females sometimes attracted to me and younger females not? How can I attract attractive young women? What are they looking for?

-Mike (Belgium)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Women and men look for basically the same thing in a romantic partner: health, kindness and intelligence. After that, men tend to prefer youth and beauty and women tend to prefer resource potential.

But the art of mating involves subtly displaying these traits without looking like you are bragging or flashy. At the same time, the mating dance involves care-giving behaviors (like opening doors or offering to do a favor for someone) without sacrificing so much that you look needy and desperate. Quite an art.

Finally, perhaps the most important aspect of the mating game is to know your target. Find a woman who is in the same financial class, looks class and age range as you. Sometimes men shoot a little lower and find a great mate who really appreciates them.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.