Why Do I Always Pick the Wrong Girls?

Nick Slade Nick Slade • 10/12/12

A lot of men (and women) tend to repeat relationship mistakes. There is a certain ease and proficiency that comes with doing the same thing over and over.

We subconsciously target women who fall into our familiar profile. We have trained ourselves to say the things she wants to hear, and we have learned that she will respond to our approach in a way that will give us instant success and gratification.

What we never learn is that rejection, or the discovery that she is far from the woman we need, is just around the next corner. It’s like taking bitter pills with a sweet candy shell. It’s great for a moment, but then the reality of what’s on the inside becomes apparent.

The key to breaking out of ruts is to start challenging yourself by going for the girls who are hard to get or who you have given up trying for. Look for the ones who have a tough shell that’s hard to break through but the inside is sweet and delightful.

Forget about success and rejection for a while. Forget about the “type” of girl you like. She’s obviously not the type that likes you or that you really need.

Ask a few girls out who you like but don’t really feel physically attracted to. Once you sit down and have a soda and a conversation with them, you will discover one or two who are really special and exciting when you get to know them.

Don’t have any expectations. Don’t take them to the same places you always go. Don’t try to sleep with them too soon. Break away from the whole picture you have trapped yourself in, from the type of girls, to the expectations, to the places you go and the activities you share. Miss Right is in the batch you’ve been ignoring.