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|Rachel Dack • 10/09/15|
Although it might look fun, sexy and appealing in movies and television shows, getting involved with an unavailable man or a man in a relationship can be harmful for your mental health and hinder your ability to create and sustain the healthy and loving partnership you are looking for.
He might seem sweet, fun, smart or handsome, but men who cheat while in a relationship exhibit many red flags that should not be ignored, including the propensity to lie, deceive and betray women and their loved ones.
It’s all too common to get caught up in believing he will leave his current partner or wife for you, but why would he if you are knowingly allowing him to keep you on the side?
Here are the signs he’s not going to leave her for you:
He might be justifying that he is doing nothing wrong if he tells you about her and you continue to engage in sexual or emotional intimacy with him.
He might convince you he will leave her soon, and in turn you convince yourself to wait for him. However, often this is a form of manipulation to keep you around.
You might also believe if he does leave her for you, he will be ready for a loving and committed relationship with you and will not betray you, too. Unfortunately, although people can change, many men who cheat engage in a pattern of cheating versus an isolated incident of cheating.
Cheating also signifies he is not available, hindering his ability to be there for you, maintain intimacy and offer you the support you deserve.
A relationship that starts with lies and secrecy rarely turns into a healthy relationship filled with trust and honesty.
“If you’re falling for him, stop engaging
in intimacy until he ends his relationship.”
If you are more drawn to him because he is taken, take the opportunity to explore that.
Sometimes women are attracted to unavailable men because of fear, insecurities or not fully being available or ready for a committed relationship themselves.
Or you might be operating on the belief that you don’t deserve all of a man’s attention or feel overwhelmed by men who want to commit to you fully because you don’t believe you are worth it.
Your mind may make you believe a man in another relationship is an ideal scenario – a way to have your space, stay single or not have to commit to taking care of all his needs. However, this situation often ends poorly for all involved.
If you notice you are attracted to men in relationships because of the passionate, scandalous and thrilling nature of being kept on the side, fill your need for adventure and passion in healthy ways.
Why not try dating out of your comfort zone, engaging in a new hobby that makes you feel alive or taking a last-minute vacation? Take care of your own desires versus getting involved with the wrong man because you are lacking excitement in your life.
If you are falling for him and believe you have something special, I recommend owning how you feel and stop engaging in any form of intimacy with him until it is clear he has ended his relationship, gained closure and is fully available to you.
Even better, find a man who is emotionally available to you and single so you can truly form a healthy relationship from the start.
Photo source: eharmony.co.uk