5 Signs You’re Not Ready for a Relationship

Women's Dating

5 Signs You’re Not Ready for a Relationship

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 6/05/15

Women often search desperately for a boyfriend but rarely stop to ask themselves if they are actually ready to be in a new relationship. For whatever reason, women have been taught they are not complete if they are flying solo, believing there must be something wrong with them if they don’t have a man on their arm.

Before you hurry off looking for a relationship for all the wrong reasons, there a few things you need to consider. The last thing you want to do is date someone when you’re not ready. A relationship should be about two independent people coming together and enhancing one another’s lives, rather than two halves getting together to make a whole.

These top five indicators will help you determine if the timing in your life is right for a new relationship. If any of these descriptions hit home, it’s probably your subconscious alerting you to the fact that you are not ready to be in a relationship.

1. You have self-destructive issues.

If you have a drinking or drug problem, an eating disorder, bad dating habits or any other serious psychological disturbances, the last thing you need in your life is a complicated and time-consuming relationship.

When we are not right with ourselves, we attract men who are not right with themselves and who are ultimately not right for us. Only when you are mentally, emotionally and spiritually sound will you attract a quality man of character.

2. You’re struggling financially.

So many women are guilty of gold digging, even if it’s an unconscious undertone in their psyche. Never, ever rely on a man to bring home the bacon. Get out there and take care of your own business, even if you have to slaughter a pig yourself.

Money should never be the motivating factor for dating.

3. You’re looking for a man to complete you.

I am a firm believer that every woman should be strong enough to stand on her own two feet so she doesn’t get into the bad habit of leaning on a man. You are the only person you will never lose or leave.

You must become content being in your own company before you seek the company of a man.


“Do whatever is necessary to become

secure in your own individuality.”

4. You’re sexually frustrated.

Nothing good ever came from a relationship based on sex. You want to be with a man who has great conversation, a charming personality and an unshakeable set of values who happens to be great in the sack.

The best sex is that which is shared between a man and a woman who genuinely care about each other.

5. You just got out of a relationship.

I would venture to say almost every woman on the planet has made this mistake. Breakups can be so devastating, and it’s only natural to go on the prowl and hunt for another man to take the pain away.

Be sure to let enough time pass between relationships and endure the healing process before you get involved in your next partnership. Rebound relationships are never a good idea and someone always gets hurt.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a single woman. Learn to take responsibility for yourself and love yourself before you ever attempt to love and care for a man. If you’re in between relationships, use this time wisely.

Focus on your career, your emotional and mental health, your finances and your own general well-being. Take up a hobby, recommit to your workout regime and read some self-help books.

Do whatever is necessary to become secure in your own individuality and comfortable in your own skin until you are truly ready to be in a happy, healthy, equal relationship with a man who loves and respects you and treats you right.