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|Gina Stewart • 9/25/14|
My last article enumerated the three mistakes women make in their profiles. Well, just like how celebrities die in threes, I’ve got three more deadly mistakes for women to avoid to encourage more men to contact them.
So many female’s profiles have very strong language about who shouldn’t email them. It goes a little something like this:
“Do NOT contact me if you: don’t know the difference between ‘they’re, there and their.’ Do not contact me if you are under 6 feet tall; do not contact me if you are balding; do not contact me if you don’t have anything interesting to say; do not contact me just to tell me I’m pretty.”
Whoa. You are not a kidnapper, so please leave out your list of demands. You may think you’re simply weeding out those select men listed but the overarching message you are sending is you’re a B-word.
Even qualified men are going to be less likely to contact you because you don’t seem welcoming of a message, and they’re scared they are going to piss you off, too.
So what’s the alternative? Be nice! What’s the big deal if you get some emails from men who are below your standards? Is hitting delete just too hard?
“Men want to contact you, but you’re
not giving them anything to go off.”
Often times in woman’s profile she will write something very interesting about herself that begs a natural follow-up question. But she immediately answers that question so she doesn’t have to be asked it. Stop doing that!
Here is an example:
“Last year I lived in Korea. You could say I am a semiprofessional karaoke singer. And yes, I like Korean BBQ and kimchi.”
She knows the natural question after an “I lived in Korea” statement often involves asking about Korean BBQ and kimchi — so she answers the question immediately.
Don’t do that! Leaving the opportunity for seemingly obvious questions makes it easier for men to message you.
You want it to be easy for men to email you because then more men will. The more men who contact you means you have more choices for dates and mates. That is a good thing.
Is it slightly annoying to be asked the same questions over and over? Yes, I get it. But remember the bigger picture — you want to meet a guy who is interested in you. Let him take interest, even if it starts with questions you feel are old hat.
So you’ve made an online dating account. You’ve even gone so far as to post a picture. That’s how a man found you to click on you.
But somehow you neglected to write anything about yourself. Or you wrote a few sparse vague words.
Here’s the thing, men want to contact you, but you’re not giving them anything to go off. When you make it hard for a man to find things to talk to you about, one of two things happen:
1. You don’t get messaged.
2. You get emailed in half-hearted ways by men who don’t match what you’re looking for.
Neither one of these scenarios leads to finding love. Create a profile to create interest.