Are You Ready to Start Dating Again?

Women's Dating

Are You Ready to Start Dating Again?

Dr. Karen Finn Dr. Karen Finn • 9/25/14

How much time do you need to heal after a breakup or divorce before you start dating again?

Everybody is different and no one answer will be right for everyone.

This five-question quiz will let you know if you’re ready to start dating again or not.

1. Do you want to date because your ex is?

This is what I call the “me too” reason to start dating. It is not a good reason.

Just because your ex has chosen to move on doesn’t mean you’re ready, too. Everybody heals and gets over a past relationship at a different rate.

Allow yourself the time you need to feel more like you before you start dating again.

2. Can you talk about anything else besides your breakup?

If you find most of your conversations revolve around your breakup, your ex or how much you miss being in a relationship, then you are not ready to date. You are still grieving the loss of your relationship.

Your friends, family and divorce professionals are the best people to help you through your grief – not some person you just met on

 “It’s better to make sure you are past
your breakup before you start dating.”

3. Dating and relationships: Do you know the difference?

After being in a long-term relationship, most of us forget what dating is like.

We are so used to being in a relationship that we jump into another relationship instead of dating, and we’re usually sorry we did so.

So, what is dating?

Dating is spending time with different people to learn what you do and don’t like about different personalities, experiences and yourself when you’re hanging out with different people.

Dating is all about having fun and learning more about you.

4. Are you feeling desperate about needing to date?

If you answered yes to this question, you already know you are not ready to start dating.

One of the biggest struggles people have when their relationship ends is rebuilding their self-esteem. Self-esteem is something that can’t be improved by having someone else tell you how wonderful you are.

You have to believe in yourself before you believe what someone you met on says about you.

5. Do you feel guilty when you think about dating?

When we are in a relationship, most of us have a deep sense of loyalty to our partner that becomes a habit – a habit in thought and behavior.

It can be tough to break a habit of many years. Just ask anyone who has quit smoking!

If you have answered no to questions one, four and five and yes to questions two and three, you are definitely ready to start dating again!

If you didn’t get a score that clears you for dating just yet, that is OK.

We all heal from our relationships at different rates, and it’s much better to make sure you are past the worst of your breakup before you get out there and start dating again.

So, how did you do on the quiz? Are you ready to start dating again?

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