Bitches Take Note: How to Renew Your Faith in Men

Women's Dating

Bitches Take Note: How to Renew Your Faith in Men

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

In this high-supply sexual economy where sex is easy, relationships are hard to maintain and players and lovers dance in the same marketplace, it stands to reason that a few hearts are bound to be broken.

It’s easy to see why women, facing a daunting proportion of men who won’t commit, can become frustrated — especially if motherhood is one of their goals.

When I was doing research for my book, “The 30-Day Love Detox,” I held a series of wine and cheese focus groups in my living room.

I plied young single women with Chardonnay and olives to help the dating horror and success stores flow.

Many women blamed men.

I wasn’t surprised to hear the level of frustration so many young women feel, but I was surprised to learn so many women blamed men.

In fact, plenty had become downright man haters, feeling women to be victimized by the high-supply sexual economy and perceiving men to be selfish users of women.

True, women are on the losing end when sex becomes so easy for men that they lose ambition and an ability to commit.

These days a young man can sit in his mom’s basement until he is 30, playing Xbox and asking women to text him naked pictures of themselves.

He doesn’t need to wine and dine a woman when a willing and able woman invites him to her condo whenever he needs an invitation.

And why should he commit? Why should he buy the cow when he can text in a herd?

The truth is this is no one’s fault.

I can see why women feel angry, but no one could have foreseen this no-rules relationship revolution.

This high-supply sexual economy is a strange byproduct of something fabulous: the economic rise of women.

These days more women graduate from college than men, women make up the majority of the workforce and 20-something women make more money than their male peers in most large cities.

When this happens, women no longer have to wait until a guy signs on the bottom line to support them and their offspring in a contract called marriage. They can now enjoy the pleasure of sex just for the sake of pleasure.

Sadly, too much sex makes men less likely to commit and that same woman who loves being single also understands that parenthood is best played as a two-person sport.

 

“Guys are as confused as you

by the free, cheap sex available.”

Here’s the good news:

Not all men are so happy with a high-supply sexual economy.

Plenty of men are being pressured to conform to a narrow definition of male sexuality (something that was invented back when sex had a high price), which is take all sex, any sex, at any cost.

Today, the cost is the loss of crucial relationship building that only happens before the onset of a sexual relationship.

Many men want to commit.

Plenty of players would be happy with one, kind, smart, trustful girlfriend instead of the revolving bed of highly sexualized women.

But the only way to identify these men is to give them the space to showcase their intentions. And, sigh, that can’t be done while you are knocking boots.

Research shows people who have sex within 30 days of dating have almost a 90 percent chance of being broken up within one year.

Delaying the onset of the sexual relationship is the only way to tell the dads from the cads, the commitment-oriented men from the players.

So it’s time to renew your faith in men. Most men aren’t selfish people with little compassion for a woman’s emotions. The poor guys are as confused as you by the free, cheap sex available.

I’ve even talked to young men who use Viagra because of the pressure to perform on cue.

Women, we can fix this. It’s time to start really loving men. A good mother doesn’t give her child a cookie before dinner.

Ladies, have you lost your faith in men? How do you plan on renewing that faith?

Photo source: mamaslatinas.com.