This Guy Stopped Responding to My Emails. Did I Insult Him?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I like this guy in one of my classes and began to email him after the semester ended. In his last email to me, he stated that he didn’t have a job. I, just making small talk to make the email longer, wrote that he should find a job to keep busy for the summer. I didn’t mean anything by that, honest.

He stopped emailing me after that email. I sent him another email with my number a couple of days later, saying we can talk on the phone, hoping he could get a hint that I was into him, job or no job. He still did not respond. I just want to know if I insulted him in anyway so I will not make the same mistake next time. But honestly, I do not think I did or said anything wrong.

-Ann C. (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

This is the problem with digital communication. It is devoid of body language, vocal tone, eye contact, facial expressions and even smells. Text and email communication is like listening to your favorite band without the drummer or vocalist. You can recognize the song but you miss the passion.

Yes, guys are sensitive about not having gainful employment. Maybe he did feel judged. If you don’t have his phone number, you might email an explanation email, an apology and one more suggestion to call you directly. If he doesn’t do that, he’s not the one for you.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.