German theologian and philosopher Albert Schweitzer once said, “At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”
Actors, writers and artists talk about feeling the “creative spark,” but when it comes to dating or finding a life partner, is there such thing as a “spark” that makes two people feel connected?
Some people believe hormones cause a spark, and some people believe a spark was made up by Hollywood. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic, but I believe without a doubt a spark between two people exists and is essential, especially for us women, to finding a successful relationship.
“It’s possible we’ve also experienced
the spark losing its sparkle.”
According to recent research by Northwestern University, online dating, particularly mobile dating, brings together potential partners fast to see if “sparks” exist. Research continues that the faster some good old-fashioned contact happens, the better.
Dr. Helen Fisher, a noted anthropologist at Rutgers University said, “In the animal kingdom, you can’t spend three months discussing your resume; you need to feel instant sparks to start the breeding process.”
Sure, that sounds a bit scientific when talking about love. But what Dr. Fisher said corresponds with Northwestern’s study — meeting in person is essential to creating a spark.
For those of us who have experienced a spark, it’s possible we’ve also experienced the spark losing its sparkle. Fisher said there are many ways to get it burning bright again.
“The first intense period of love can last one to three years. After that, these feelings subside,” Fisher said. “But if two people are compatible, there are many ways to renew a flagging partnership. Novelty can spur romance; sex can trigger it, too. Do some of the things that you used to when you were first dating.”