Does He Like Me?

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

Hey, I met this guy and we have been friends for a year now. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend and started talking to my friend more. Well, he finally gave me his number. We text but it is always me initiating the conversation. He does keep the conversation going and answers with long answers. We also hung out at a lake once. I’m scared that I may seem too clingy if I’m always texting him. I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell if he likes me.

-Nic S. (Virginia)

Expert’s Answer:

Hi, Nic!

Great question. Trust me, you’re not alone. As I write this, there are literally hundreds of thousands of women around the world who are interested in a guy and they are not sure if he feels the same way. Men can often be confusing and they’re famous for sending mixed messages. It’s especially tricky when the object of your affection is also a longtime friend.

I think you should first consider your friendship before you move forward with your romantic feelings for this guy. No matter what the outcome, your relationship will never be the same again. Are you sure you’re willing to risk what you have now in favor of a mere chance that it will work?

If you’re sure you want to test the waters to see if you can hook up romantically, and you’re aware of the risk that you may lose a great friendship, I advise you to start paying attention. If a guy likes you, it won’t take long for you to figure it out. Usually, if a guy goes out of his way for you and takes you places, he’s got some hope that the two of you may evolve past just being buddies. If he’s at your beck and call, chances are, he’s interested. If he never talks to you about women and never asks you about your relationship status, he’s likely thinking of you as a potential girlfriend. More than anything else, though, it’s in his eyes.

  • Do you catch him staring at you?
  • Do his eyes glow when he’s looking at you?
  • Have mutual friends commented that he acts silly when your name is brought up?

If so, it probably means he’s into you and soon enough, he’ll make a move. Seriously, guys aren’t that complicated. If he’s spending a lot of time and money on you, he wants to impress you.

No matter what, don’t start acting different and what I like to call “girly.” Guys hate that. Be sure you move cautiously in trying to assess his feelings for you. If he still sees you as a friend, he’ll think you’re acting weird, and it will cause him to move away. Don’t start being jealous or demanding. Just go with the flow.

Be confident in your communication with him but don’t overdo it. If he is reciprocating your advances, great. If not, slow down and allow him to take the lead in contacting you. Wait for him to invite you out. When he does, be cute and ask, “Is this a date?” See what he says and see what happens! Trust me, when a guy likes you, he wants to spend time with you. Be patient. These things have a way of working themselves out.

I hope this helps!

Bethany