He Didn’t Ask Me to Go Away with Him. Am I Overreacting?

Gina Stewart Gina Stewart • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I have been dating this man for about a month and a half. We both have children and schedules that can be challenging.

I had a free weekend, so we had an opportunity to spend time together. He had a prior obligation to house-sit for a friend. He never mentioned he was house-sitting until he was on his way there, and he didn’t even ask if I wanted to go!

This hurt my feelings. To me, it seemed like a perfect mini-vacation. Am I overreacting about not being asked?

-Amber (North Carolina)

Gina Stewart’s Answer:

In short, yes. A month and half of dating isn’t a significant amount of time for there to be an expectation to invite you on a mini-vacation or to someone else’s home.

Was it inconsiderate of him to not tell you he wouldn’t be available for the weekend just as a matter of courtesy? Yes, and to that, your feelings being hurt is a valid response.

You saw an opportunity to take advantage of your free weekend and it didn’t pan out. Understandably, that’s disappointing, but it’s not something you can pin responsibility on him for.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.