He Hasn’t Asked to Be Facebook Friends. Do I Tell Him How I Feel?

September 14, 2012
He Hasn’t Asked to Be Facebook Friends. Do I Tell Him How I Feel?

Reader Question:

I have been in a long-distance relationship with a guy for about eight months now, and I feel that we are really into each other. He calls me his girlfriend, but I have a problem because he has not asked to be my friend on Facebook. I know for a fact he’s keeping me a secret.

Do I call it quits or just talk to him and tell him how I really feel?

-Lowe (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Did you ask me, the queen of honest communication, if you should talk to him about it??? Of course you should. A guy who calls a woman his girlfriend on the street but not online probably won’t do it until he’s asked.

Don’t be angry and confrontational about it but do be firm about what your expectations are. If you want him to change his Facebook status to “In a relationship” with you (and you should if you two are having sex), tell him so.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
Facebook Friends Online Profiles

2 Responses

    I personally HATE facebook for this sole purpose. Imagine how it was before and not everybody and your mom had to know if you were seeing someone. What’s wrong with keeping it a fun secret?

    My first thought was, how old are you two? Because if you’re younger and you’re already his “girlfriend” I’d think you’d at leassstt be friends on facebook?! If you’re older some guys don’t even use their account anyway so they probably don’t care about it

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