He is Coming Out of a Long-Term Relationship. Should I Not Pursue It?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I am 43-year-old female and have tried online dating off/on for a few years, mostly unsuccessfully. At this age, I am really looking for a relationship, not just casual dating as I have never been married.

Someone emailed me from Match.com before I ended my life as a profile. He is new to online dating at 48 years of age after being in a 19-year marriage. I am telling myself maybe it is not good to get involved with someone who just started that process as I am leaving it, especially considering he is coming out of a long-term relationship.

Do you think this is reasonable enough to consider not pursuing it?

-Kerri (Missouri)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Kerri,

And it’s reasonable to not drive a car because car accidents happen. And it is reasonable to not ever go swimming because some people drown.

I’m being sarcastic, of course, because I’m trying to show you how you let things fail before they even begin.

I would think a man who has been in a 19-year marriage is probably most comfortable being part of a couple.

And, because he hasn’t been jaded by the online dating scene, he may think he has beginner’s luck because he found you.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.