He Never Wanted Commitment. Can a Person Pretend to Like You?

November 16, 2012
He Never Wanted Commitment. Can a Person Pretend to Like You?

Reader Question:

I dated a guy for seven years and we did everything together. He cooked for me, bought me gifts, took me to his country, but we’ve never actually said we were dating.

When I asked him about it, he said he had no feelings for me, nor did he ever have any intentions of a commitment with me. That was six months ago and I have not heard anything.

Is it possible for a person to pretend they even liked you?

-Cassie (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Cassie, you are not the first woman I have met who is in a long-term undefined relationship. It always amazes me that women will expose their heart, their eggs and their blood steam to a man who they can’t even talk about monogamy with.

But I’m glad to see you took the first step. You asked for definition. And he gave you an answer. He will not commit to you. Waiting around for him is a sure way to waste more of your precious time.

And, to answer your direct question, he didn’t pretend he likes you. He DOES like you. He especially likes that you don’t ask for more and leave him free to pursue whatever he wants.

Remember, men can have sex with the same woman for a long time and not fall in love. He likes you, that’s all. And he doesn’t feel a need to define the relationship or commit to you because you haven’t required it.

My advice: Move on.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
Commitment

3 Responses

    Whatwereyouthinking

    How could you let this go on for seven years?

    sometiimes it’s hard to let go of the one you love not matter how many years it takes

    haha daaaaanngggg. That is ridiculous. 7 years?! Uhmazing, people. I just let my jaw drop to these things.

    speechless**

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