He Says I Pressure Him to Live Together and Have Kids. What Do You Think?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

My name is Marie and I am 40. I have been with a guy for nearly two years. I want to live with him and have kids, but he said I keep pressuring him. According to him, things will happen naturally.

What do you think?

Marie (London)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Marie,

I’m not going to tell you what you want to hear. But I am going to tell you what you need to hear.

This man has no fertility window so he can wait for things to happen “naturally.” For you, your chances of babies happening naturally are growing smaller each month. You have every right to want to be a mother and every right to ask for a commitment from this man. But words won’t do it. Only an action-based ultimatum will work.

Tell him clearly he has 90 days to figure out if he is ready to commit to a family with you. Do not mention it during that time. If he doesn’t step up to the plate, you have to break up with him. Find a guy who wants to commit. (Strategies are in my book The 30-Day Love Detox) You have to be very clear about what you want and move quickly. This man may not be the guy for you.

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