I Get Lonely. How Do I Increase My Luck in Dating?

Nick Slade Nick Slade • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I’m a single, young-looking woman of 47. I don’t have a driver’s license, just a three-speed bike to get around to my GED classes and to the grocery store, then that’s all I get to do. I feel hopeless. I’m not having any luck at all in the love department, at least so far. I get lonely. All I have to keep me company is my computer and my TV.

Since I don’t have my driver’s license and a car, what could I do to increase my luck in the dating department? I’m on a fixed income and can’t really afford to spend $25 or more to keep paying for a membership. I sure do get lonely, and I would love to find and share my life with a special someone and eventually get married.

-Lisa P. (South Carolina)

Expert Answer:

Hi, Lisa.

Your story of loneliness and hopelessness is one shared by thousands of women. Ironically, it is a story also shared by thousands of lonely men who are dreaming, wishing and hoping for an independent, young-looking 47-year-old woman to pedal her bicycle into their lives.

It doesn’t take luck, a car or money to find love. It just takes energy, effort and a joyful spirit to get yourself noticed and in the game. You might get some good ideas from my article on “How to Get a Guy in 30 Days.”

It’s easy to feel like you are trapped in a silent movie, screaming at passers-by to look at you but no one notices. But you really can reach out and touch people.

The two most important things you need to cultivate right now are friends and happiness. Start with your GED classmates and instructors, even if they are 20 years younger than you. Don’t be obsessed with finding a boyfriend. Just think about meeting people and enjoying your life. Men are attracted to happy, confident women.

Put on a cute outfit, dab on a touch of lip gloss, and head to the supermarket or coffee shop. At those moments when you are out among people, walk with power, a big smile and your head held high. Stop being invisible.

Look people in the eye and greet them all — boldly and proudly. Being verbal will instantly connect you to the world. Keep your eyes open, as Prince Charming does not ride in on a white horse. He might be the guy stacking pork chops in the meat cooler or the gentleman who smiles as he holds the door for you.

You have to start seeing the opportunities all around you, Lisa. Take every invitation for coffee or drinks that you get, whether you think you have a romantic interest or not. Just get in the game.

Present yourself as a vibrant woman who is joyfully moving her life forward in a positive way. Never portray yourself as a victim. And make that three-speed bike sound like the lifestyle choice of a really cool lady, not like the symbol of your defeat.