How Many People Should I Message Online Every Week?

Bethany Heinesh Bethany Heinesh • 9/25/14

One of the things women don’t do well is juggle men. Sure, you might be Queen of the Multitask, but when it comes to love, you were naturally wired to be a one-man woman. It’s simple genetics. If you’re looking for love online, and you plan to message many guys at once to see where things go, do so with caution.

If you find five different guys you are attracted to and decide to message each of them, chances are, at least three will write you back. If you begin ongoing communication with all three, eventually you are going to want to meet them. If you meet them, you might like them all, and before you know it, you’re juggling.

At some point, monogamy will come into the equation and you’ll have to dump two. This is not only a lot of work, but it creates a situation where you will probably have to break a few hearts along the way. You certainly wouldn’t want a guy to do this to you, because it’s just not good manners, and you won’t feel good about yourself in the process. Plus, it brings bad relationship karma.

My suggestion is to find a guy you like, contact him, and then see where it goes. You’ll probably know within a week whether you want to continue communicating with this guy and set up a date or dump him and move on. If a guy doesn’t write back within three days, contact someone else. Applying this formula to your online dating life means you will only be contacting two guys in one week or seriously talking to one at a time.