Women's Dating

How to Be a Good Girlfriend: 6 Expert Tips

Mike Goldstein • 5/10/17

If you’re like a lot of people, you probably want to be the best at everything you do. Being a girlfriend is no different. You want to be the best girlfriend on the planet. Well, you came to the right place because I am going to teach you how to accomplish that.

This is not going to be a fluff piece telling you to give more blow jobs — this is going to be an in-depth article with tangible, actionable items you can start implementing immediately to vastly improve your relationship.

1. Instead of Nagging, Compliment Him to Affect Change

His mom nags. Do you want to be his mom? Try to avoid saying things like “It bothers me when you leave all your dirty dishes in the sink. Just clean the dishes or put them in the dishwasher!” Instead, try things like “It would mean the world to me, and you would be the greatest boyfriend ever, if you would either clean your dishes or put them in the dishwasher instead of the sink.”

Then, when he does it, kiss him passionately and say something like “Thank you for cleaning your dishes! You’re the sexiest man alive.” Is this over the top? Yes, but watch what happens. Whenever you want anything, tell him how happy it will make you if he does it, appreciate him when he does it, and see how many things you’ll get him to do. I call this concept “the Needed/Appreciated Rule.”

2. Let Him Complete Tasks By Himself

Women thrive on feeling supported, while men thrive on getting things done. For example, if your guy is depressed and sulking around the house, don’t try to cheer him up by making him laugh, buying him a gift, or doing things for him. While these are very nice gestures, they will not accomplish the goal of getting him out of his funk.

While women may appreciate support from a boyfriend who lends a hand, men prefer support from afar, pushing them to accomplish their goals on their own. Photo source: PersonalVictory.com.

Instead, cheer him on to get stuff done. Motivate him to do his work, send emails, finish the report, go to the gym, play soccer, go see friends, or even ask him to accomplish small goals around the house (e.g., “Would you take out the garbage or make me your famous pancakes I love?”).

When a man accomplishes tasks, he feels accomplished, successful, and more like a man. If you treat your man like how you would treat an upset girlfriend (supporting her, comforting her, making her not feel alone, etc.), he will pull away. He will try to get far away from you. Instead, tell him to go get stuff done and he will pull himself out of his bad mood.

3. Find Out What Clothes He Finds Sexy & Wear Them Occasionally

Routine can get boring. If you’re walking around in sweatpants and an old T-shirt every day, eventually he’ll get bored with that attire. Just as you might if he did the same thing.

However, if you walk around in some sexy leggings and a top that shows off your chest, you may spark the attention of your guy. This is vitally important. Men are visual creatures. When you give your man a variety of ways to look at your body through different forms of clothing, he will maintain his sexual desire for you. If you don’t change your attire every now and then, it’s possible he’ll start losing his sexual attraction for you.

4. Be Happy (95% Of The Time)

First, you should only be in a relationship if you’re happy with yourself. Next, why is being happy 95% of the time so important? Men are attracted to women who are happy.

Obviously, it’s OK to have some off days. But when a man has a woman who is happy most of the time without him doing anything, then he will be able to imagine being able to keep her happy for a lifetime.

No man will commit to a life with a woman without being certain he can keep her happy forever. You can make him certain by having your own life and being genuinely happy.

To further explain this, 95% of your happiness should come from work, friends, family, activities, and then the icing on the cake is the 5% of happiness that comes from your partner. If you use him to be the icing on the cake, he will feel like it’s much more manageable to keep you happy forever.

5. Accept Him

Your guy clips his nails and they fly all over the apartment and he doesn’t clean them up. He picks his nose, he farts, he plays video games, and he watches football every Sunday. But you love him because he is charming, cares for you, texts you sweet things every day, cooks you breakfast, writes you love notes, and brings home your favorite wine when you have a bad day.

But let’s get back to his bad habits. What are you to do about them? Well, first, re-read number one and two because they outline a strategy. Some of these things may get better with this strategy. However, some things are just simply never going to change. A guy is who he is. Thus, you need to decide whether these idiosyncrasies are something you can live with. If yes, you can’t nag him. You need to fully accept him for who he is. Your guy needs to feel comfortable to be himself around you. He doesn’t want to walk on eggshells around you.

6. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

A hundred years ago, there was a clear division of labor. The man went to work and made money, and the woman maintained the home. However, now most families have two parties at work. That means men and women share the financial burden as well as the chores around the house. Maybe he cooks breakfast and takes out the trash, while you do dinners and the laundry. Perhaps, you guys do the dishes together.

The couples who play and work together are more likely to stay together. Photo source: RD.com.

If you need his help with things, ask him for help. However, don’t ask him to clean the bathtub every Tuesday, for example. It’s OK to ask him to clean the bathtub, but men hate tasks that have no end date. If he has to do it every Tuesday, it will seem daunting and never-ending. However, if every week or so you ask him to clean the bathtub once, it will seem a lot easier and something he can accomplish. Not to mention you’ll make him feel needed every week, and every week you can appreciate him for cleaning the tub.

Don’t Give Up Your Needs for His — Try to Understand Each Other & Work Together to Make Your Relationship the Best It Can Be!

Well, ladies, there you have it. Use these six tips and watch your relationship get even better. I’ve also created a companion video to help you be the best girlfriend you can be:

Also, I know I might’ve missed some things, so in the comment section below, tell me what you do to be a great partner.

GIF source: Tumblr.com

About The Author

Mike Goldstein is a one-on-one dating coach who helps men and women find love efficiently. He has been featured on "The Today Show," The Star Ledger, Reader's Digest, and Shape Magazine. Over 83% of Mike's clients enter relationships during coaching, and he currently has 100% client satisfaction. He is also an online dating expert who uses the data from multiple major online dating sites to ensure his clients are in the top 5% of successful online daters. FREE Gift: Ebook - "How To Find A High Quality Man In 3 Easy Steps AND The Main Reason You Have Been Choosing The Wrong Men."