There’s nothing quite like the tingly infatuation and apprehensive mystery of young love — except maybe the paralyzing fear and awkward “dates” that often come along with it. From a very early age, little boys and girls have their eye on a special someone in the class, but when those fantasies of the mind start to become real in middle school and high school, it gets a whole lot more complicated and intimidating.
The ultimate home run for young daters is holding hands. (Note: I am the father of a 16-year-old girl. Please let me continue believing in this fantasy for at least two more years. Thanks.)
In any case, holding hands is the first physical connection between two potential lovers, and it has the power to draw them close in a way they never really imagined before.
Girl, you have gotten his attention with your fresh beauty, those wondrous eyes, and that charm-filled smile, but it is that first touch of your magically silky hand that will make him a true believer in the wonders you possess. That’s what will draw him back to be near you again.
So, what’s a girl to do if she wants a guy to hold her hand?
1. Wait until you’re some place private.
“Private” doesn’t have to mean “alone.” You can be in a crowd, as long as you are anonymous strangers to the people around you. Strolling through the park, walking in the mall or sitting in a movie theater are great occasions for making something happen.
School or the restaurant where all his friends hang out are not. Young guys are often very nervous about public displays of affection, so make sure the setting is comfortable for him.
Sure, you’re nervous. But he’s a lot more nervous. Romance is not yet a manly thing in the slowly-maturing mind of a young man. He has a lot to risk, whereas there is only upside for a girl if your friends should happen to catch you holding hands.
Your calm demeanor and welcoming smile will help him relax and build up his courage, too.
3. Hold his arm.
If this is a date, or a prearranged meeting, you can be sure that he likes you and is there for you. Walk side by side and take his arm with your hand. This is totally appropriate behavior for a lady being escorted by a gentlemen, at any age.
It will make him feel like a man, and it will initiate physical contact. This is also your unspoken permission for him to touch you in a polite way.
Do him a favor. If you see his friends approaching (or your friends, for that matter), let go of his arm so he doesn’t feel uncomfortable.
If there are no familiar faces in sight, you should reach across your body with your far arm and grab your other hand near his elbow. If he responds to your touch with his hand, take that as an invitation to give him your full hand.
“If all else fails, stop pussyfooting
around and take his hand!”
4. Pull him.
If you’re walking in the mall, slide your hand down his arm and grab his hand as you excitedly pull him over to a store window to get a closer look at something one of you might be interested in. Shoes for you, a shirt for him, a guitar, or whatever.
At the park you can pull him by the hand over to a shade tree or a bench. You will be able to tell if he wants to keep holding your hand. Well, of course he wants to keep holding your hand. He may even put his arm around you.
5. Put your hands close to his.
You aren’t always walking when you’re with your guy. This is a good time to use the age-old, reliable method of brushing knuckles. You can “accidentally” play a little footsie with him under the table or make sure your knees come in contact to break the ice, too.
With both elbows on the table and your hands clasped, you can get your mitts very close to him simply by unbending your arms forward and laying them on the table.
At the movies you share an arm rest, so get to it first. Put your elbow onto his side of the arm rest and put your hand on the end of it. If he does the same, you’ll be holding hands.
6. Show him your nails, read his palm…
There are dozens of excuses you can use to get him to take your hand. Ask him if your hands feel cold. When he takes your hand, tell him that it feels good or rub his hands to warm yours up, and then tell him how good and strong his hands feel (not how soft or smooth, please).
Google “palm reading” and get to know a couple of things about it. Bring it up in conversation, and if he doesn’t ask for a reading, just tell him you want to read his palm. If that doesn’t work, challenge him to a thumb wrestling match.
7. Take his hand!
If all else fails, stop pussyfooting around and take his hand! Hey, you’re a lady of the 21st century and you don’t need to wait around for some guy to get up the courage to hold your hand.
You’re walking next to him? Take his hand. His hand is on the table in front of you? Put both of your hands on top of it, then pull one back. Just do it quickly and confidently without looking at your hands. It will seem natural and he won’t mind one bit.