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|Bethany Heinesh • 7/12/12|
Getting over a guy is like slowly pulling off a Band-Aid — for a little while, it’s agony. Then before you know it, the pain is over! Whether you date a man for two months or two years, women around the world agree getting over a guy you still like is a miserable experience.
There are times when we break up with a guy for good reason and we still have feelings for him. But usually when we find ourselves in the unfortunate predicament of longing over some guy we once dated, it is because he broke up with us.
As my favorite comic Chris Rock so eloquently put it, “If you haven’t contemplated murder, you haven’t been in love.” Thankfully, I have a few secret evacuation routes to share that will help you safely navigate the maddening experience of liking a guy who doesn’t like you back.
To get over a guy you like, you must first get rid of evidence that he ever existed. Put away pictures, poems, stuffed animals and all other objects that remind you of him. Soon, out of sight really will mean out of mind.
Observe your right as an American citizen to get completely smashed on peach schnapps and cry yourself to sleep. You get to do this once, though. You do not get to become an alcoholic because he can’t see how amazing and brilliant you are.
P.S. don’t call him — no matter what. You may want to hand over your phone to a responsible friend who will forbid you from drunk dialing or texting.
Ice cream and sappy romances are your friend. Upon waking up from your hangover, you have permission to overdose on Blue Bell, lie on the couch in your robe and watch a marathon of tearjerkers.
But you get one day of this and that’s it. Feeling sorry for yourself expires after 24 hours.
“Your Mr. Right is still out
there and the clock is ticking.”
When we’re dating, we have a tendency to neglect our own priorities. Catch up on chores, get to the gym, call your mother, unload the dishwasher, play with your dog, wash your sheets.
Do whatever is necessary to keep your mind occupied and focus on the things that are important to you.
No one, but no one, can cheer us up like our soul sisters. When we’re down and out, they lift us up, remind us we are beautiful and worthwhile and send us back out into the world swinging.
You can’t get through this alone. Call them up and tell them to rendezvous at the Starbucks for an extended dish session.
After you heal and feel completely ready to try again at love, make yourself available for dates. Once you have whatshisname out of your system, you’ll wonder why you made all the fuss about him to begin with.
This does not mean you get three years to get over him. Your Mr. Right is still out there and the clock is ticking. I say six months is more than enough time to get over a guy you like. Get to it, girl!