Most of us have a guy friend who we go to when we need, well, advice about guys. He’s someone who tells you like it is, someone you are comfortable not wearing makeup around or someone you don’t mind taking the last slice of pizza from. But what happens when your friendly feelings become more than friendly? Friendships between men and women have always been complicated. How do you tell your friend you want to be more than friends? Will it ruin the friendship or turn it into the greatest love of your life? There are a few things to consider if you are going to go down that road.
Are you really ready?
Before you tell him, you have to be able to tell yourself how you feel. Is this really love? Or have you been single for a while and only want someone to lean on? Are you just sexually frustrated? You have to sort through your feelings to determine if you really want a relationship with him. Maybe you simply want to get your feelings off your chest no matter what his answer may be. Once you figure out which situation is yours, it will be easier to take the next step.
Use your friendship to your advantage.
More than likely, he knows you inside and out. More than likely, you know him inside and out, too. Perhaps he was there for you when your grandfather died or supported you through your goth phase. Use your friendship as a way to show him how you two make a good pair. His faith in you will help him understand why you want to take the relationship to the next level. You know his likes and dislikes, so you know how to approach him with an uncomfortable subject. Most importantly, you know you can trust him, and he knows he can trust you.
Be aware the friendship may change.
Once you open the relationship door, you might not be able to go back. Some friendships can never be the same after romantic feelings become involved. Can yours? Figure out if it’s more important to have him in your life as a friend than not at all. What if things only work out for six months, will you be able to go back to your old relationship, or will a new one have to be formed? Is it worth losing him if the relationship ends on bad terms? Things may never go back to normal between you two, and you need to prepare yourself for that.
It’s also important to make sure you have another support system that will be there for you if he says no. Are there other people in your life you can lean on in a time of need?
The best thing you can do is to approach the situation as calmly as possible. Sure, your nerves may be in a jumble, but you need to be yourself 100 percent. Showing how uncomfortable you are will make him more nervous, but being yourself will put him at ease.
Going from friendship to a relationship can be one of the biggest risks in your dating life — a risk that may or may not pay off. This could become an inside joke between two good buddies or maybe those two good buddies will turn into something more.