I Don’t Get Any Responses. What Are Men Really Looking For?

October 19, 2012
I Don’t Get Any Responses. What Are Men Really Looking For?

Reader Question:

It seems like no matter who I’ve tried to connect with, I don’t get any response. I even made an attempt to someone I already knew who popped up as a 90 percent match for me. He didn’t respond. I’m getting completely disheartened. I fit many of their profile requests but still have no luck.

What are men really looking for?

-Carla (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Without seeing your online profile, I can’t tell exactly where the flaws in your photo or description are. In my new book, “The 30 Day Love Detox,” I have devoted an entire chapter to online profile writing and using online dating sites. While I can’t fit in all the information here, I’d love to give you a few pointers:

1. Pout, don’t smile.

Yes, that silly little duck face on women gets statistically more clicks online than a smile.

2. Under estimate your height.

Shorter women get more clicks than tall women.

3. Take a photo in your home with no flash.

A picture that doesn’t use a flash can make you look up to seven years younger, and professional photos don’t get as many clicks as natural ones.

4. Use perfect grammar in your profile.

If you don’t care about yourself enough to make your profile grammatically correct, how can you care enough about your relationships?

5. Don’t chase men with emails.

That will turn them off. Instead view a lot of profiles without sending a message. Men will know who viewed them and wonder why you didn’t write them.

6. Be authentic and unique.

Trying to please everyone means you’re not going to passionately energize anyone.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
Online Match What Men Want

4 Responses

    Alot of these tips are basically telling you to lie…..

    So odd. I had a lot of smiles sent to me online asking me if I could please put a picture of me on my file. When I finally did, I got almost nothing. No interest what’s so ever. Make a girl think that maybe I should go to a professional photographer because at least they can bring out your best look and tell you what color, makeup and clothes look best on you. But then, I say this because I’m not photogenic and a professional would bring out the best in me. Everyone’s different.

    With so many choices out there, everyone being wired to be attracted to the attractive and an endless array of new profiles, the view is that there’s always someone ‘better’ may turn up tomorrow. So if you are of less than average attraction, you can forget about responses unless you are of an age where people wish for companionship, possibly between two people not physically attracted to one another.

    The chase, and you being you. Don’t change your schedule, don’t wear what they say they like on a woman, and don’t change who you are to impress them. The things you think are your flaws are actually charming and if a man doesn’t seem interested don’t waste your time. Move on to the next!

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