I Feel Like I’m Losing Interest in Him. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I have been casually seeing this guy for almost a year. We have great chemistry, get along well and always enjoy each other’s company. He is recently divorced after a marriage breakdown, so he is playing the field quite a lot. We are very sexual with one another but haven’t been intimate yet.

I feel like maybe that’s the reason why he is sticking around. Lately I have been feeling like ending the “friendship” or just beginning a platonic relationship. I feel like I am “bored” or losing interest in him.

What do you think?

-Afra (England)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Afra,

There are a few key words that strike me. You say you have been “casually dating,” you are “very sexual” and he is “playing the field.”

I can tell you the reason he’s sticking around: no-strings-attached sexual charge while he auditions other girlfriends.

I think you should be less concerned with why he stays with you and more concerned with why you have spent a year of your life on a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.

If this low-criteria relationship suits you, then keep it. But if you want more, say it and mean it.

And back your words up with behavior. If he doesn’t give you what you need, move on.

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