I Feel Lonely After Losing My Husband. What Do You Suggest?

October 19, 2012
I Feel Lonely After Losing My Husband. What Do You Suggest?

Reader Question:

I lost my husband over two years ago but it feels like it was yesterday. I have not dated or socialized at all since. I feel very inadequate in this new world of dating. I am 52 and been told very attractive, but I feel lost. I feel I will never get over losing my soul mate but cannot keep living like this. I am very alone and lonely.

What do you suggest?

-Terri (Alabama)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Terri, dear, you’ve got to dive in. The fastest growing demographic in online dating is singles over the age of 50. So you’ll have plenty of men your age looking to meet you. I suggest OurTime.com because it markets exclusively to people over 50.

There are a few physical and emotional safety rules you should know. First, don’t get into a lengthy email relationship or you’ll build up too much anticipation and risk a big letdown when you finally meet.

When you do choose to meet, meet in a public place and bring your own car. An afternoon coffee is a low-pressure way to say hello to a new friend.

Finally, be aware that there are a few immoral dudes online who target widows and divorcees and use false love to gain access to your wallet. Don’t be quick to pay for anything. In your generation, the old rules still apply.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

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2 Responses

    Dr. Walsh has a way with words. I completely agree with just about everything she said.

    I would add, however, don’t try this all on your own. I think it’d be wise to have a friend who could offer advice on your online messaging between someone else and make sure the things you say aren’t too “traditional” to steer a potential match away.

    You don’t have to share all of your messaging with a friend but at the beginning I’d say try to be cautious since it seems like you’re a bit weary.

      I don’t really see why you’d need a “supervisor” when you wanna try out online dating. Just make the same mistakes everyone else does and go with the flow. just be smart about who you contact and don’t act dumb about talking to strangers.

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