I Have Plans with an Old Friend. Can Men Really Be Just Friends?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I have plans with an old friend of more than 20 years. At that time, he had expressed on more than one occasion he had a crush on me. Since that time, we have both been married and divorced but have remained in contact through our circle of friends.

I am certain I have romantic feelings for him, but how do I know what his feelings/intentions are? Can men really be “just friends” with women?

-Elaine (Michigan)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Elaine,

NO. Even men who swear they are “just friends” with women will take at least sex if it is available.

Just spend some time with him. Decide if you still like him.

Looking at the past with rose-colored glasses is not the same as staring at him with clear vision today. Either one of you may have changed. No need to rush into anything.

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