I Identify as a Transgendered Woman. Is This a Big Issue?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I am a 49-year-old man but identify as a transgendered woman. I don’t live full-time as a woman and may never. I have no problem meeting and dating smart, intelligent women. They often comment that I seem like “the perfect guy.” When I share with them my story, they run.

Recently, I was seeing a long-time friend. If there was ever anyone in this world who “got” me, it was her. Once I told her, I got the same result.

Is this as big of an issue as it seems? Will most women find this a deal-breaker no matter what?

-Shari (Maryland)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Sadly, most people aren’t as evolved on the issue of gender identity as you are. Too often people confuse gender role and gender identity with sexual orientation. They may think you are also gay.

Then there’s the added layer that many women today are looking for what they consider to be a “real man,” whatever that is, and any nontraditional gender behaviors turn them off. But I say “most,” not all.

If you’re not already, I suggest you live in a large, liberal city and get in touch with the transgender community there.

Trust me, there is someone for everyone and you will find it if you look hard enough.

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