I Know He Has a Busy Job. Why Does He Never Contact Me?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

My boyfriend and I have been together four years. When we were together, my best guy friend, who I have been in love with forever, tells me he loves me and wants to marry me. I agreed to end my relationship with my boyfriend for him, but things didn’t work out as planned.

After my boyfriend and I broke up, my best friend said he still wanted me to marry him. After that, I got a text that said “Want to have phone sex? Haha just kidding.” From there, we began sexting and so on.

I keep wondering why he never contacts me. I know he has a busy job, but I just think that for someone that supposedly wants to marry me, I was maybe played a fool to get me to send him nudes.

-Sheresse S. (Michigan)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh Sheresse. Your best friend does not keep his word. Is this someone you’d ever want to marry? If so, please stop giving him a free dopamine rush through his cell phone.

Tell him clearly that if he wants to build an exclusive, committed relationship, you are available for proper dates. But sexting is off limits. If he pressures you for more sexual communication than relationship communication, you have your answer. Move on.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.