I Like a Boy Who is 21. What Do I Do?

November 2, 2012
I Like a Boy Who is 21. What Do I Do?

Reader Question:

I like this boy who is 21. I’m 17 and will be 18 soon. My mom says it’s all right to talk to this boy, but my dad said I can only talk and be friends with him. I have anxiety and he thinks I’m not ready to date.

What do I do, and who do I listen to?

-Britt

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Listen to your gut and pay attention to the law. The state you are in may not even allow you to date a legal adult until you are one yourself.

As for listening to your gut, move slowly and pay attention to your feelings. If you feel pressured to advance to a physical relationship, even kissing, before you are ready, respect that feeling.

It’s OK to slow down. There are plenty of other men out there, and you have lots of time to practice relationships without getting your heart broken.

Your father just wants to protect you from that pain. (And by the way, a 21-year-old is a man, not a boy, so don’t expect him to be engaging in a juvenile relationship with you.)


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

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2 Responses

    What’s a 21yearold man want with an 17yearold? Nothing good I bet!

      Sometimes it works out! Me and my bf are 10 years apart, our relationship is good, just wait til ur 18 to date him

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