I Want to Try a Dating Site. When Should I Tell the Person of My Illness?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 7/27/12

Reader Question:

I have been divorced for almost two years after being married for 33 years. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007 and went through chemo, radiation and surgery. I am cancer free and feeling great.

I want to try a dating site but am in a quandary of when to tell the person of my illness. Do I state it in the profile or wait until a few dates?

-Kathy

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Congrats on your recovery and your positive attitude! There is no reason to disclose your prior health battles in the first few dates. Trust me, he’s hiding stuff too at that stage.

When you do begin to build some trust and some emotional intimacy, you can be more open. And my suggestion would be to explain your previous cancer in a positive light.

Maybe tell him what strength and power you found in yourself by winning this battle or how confident it made you. Or, you might say that gaining a new lease on life has made you so appreciative of everyone and everything. Perhaps you cherish the smaller achievements in people and you also don’t sweat the small stuff.

Being positive and confident is sexy!


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