If He Turns Down Sex, Is He Still Interested?

Women's Dating

If He Turns Down Sex, Is He Still Interested?

Meena Avery Meena Avery • 9/25/14

The dating scene is tiresome and discouraging these days. Women are frustrated about not meeting quality guys and men are tired of feeling like a last resort.

This burnt-out attitude results in people taking a different approach to their love life.

For some men, this translates into taking it slow when it comes to sex. Women are so used to guys trying to get in their pants that it is confusing when a guy turns them down.

Is it only acceptable for women to take things slow?

If a guy says he isn’t ready to have sex, should the woman worry that he isn’t attracted to her or doesn’t see any future with her?

My theory to explain this (seemingly) new male behavior is that men are holding out as a side effect of the application-like dating process.

First dates are like job interviews nowadays, where men list their income, job qualifications and vehicle brand to prove their worth.

When a woman meets a guy who fulfills her ideal criteria because he has a good job and is attractive, she uses sex to prove she has long-term potential as well.

“Most likely it means he’s dating

with his brain, not his dick.”

Perhaps men want women to prove this outside the bedroom.

Guys complain about women who agree to go out with them only to get a free dinner, concert tickets or just to pass the time.

Not only is it expensive (which is a sensitive subject for most guys), but it also leaves them feeling disappointed and used.

Even men want to feel desired for who they are, and a great guy wants to learn about the woman he’s dating as well.

It is possible men are holding out to see if the new girl will stick around and meet his long-term standards.

Even though sex plays a significant role in relationships, for most people it takes time to determine compatibility, which goes beyond details in an online profile or a brief conversation at a bar.

In other words, if a guy says he wants to take it slow or wait a little longer to have sex, don’t assume he’s not interested.

Most likely it means he’s dating with his brain, not his dick. Be grateful he’s not pretending to be interested just to get some action.

Even though the old saying “Men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love” exists, that doesn’t mean it is the standard.

Give the guy some credit for trying to think ahead.

Photo source: her.ie.