I’m Not Good at Flirting. Can You Give Me Advice?

November 16, 2012
I’m Not Good at Flirting. Can You Give Me Advice?

Reader Question:

I just recently found my ex on Facebook and we have been talking. I’m looking for a website that will teach me how to flirt. I’m not very good at it and wondered if you could give me some advice on that?

-Michelle (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

First of all, are you sure you want to become a “retrosexual” — someone who dates a long-ago love? Time often helps you put on a pair of rose-colored glasses that focuses on only the good things about an old relationship, but, for the most part, people don’t change much.

I guarantee if you get back together, you’ll suddenly remember quite clearly why you broke up.

Having said that, let me turn to your real question…how to flirt. The best way to flirt is in person with body language, giggles, hair flips and fun, nervous glances. But if you’re asking me how to flirt online, I say, stick to compliments, and if you do get into sexually suggestive language, use only metaphors.

“Gosh, I was thinking about that time we nearly started a house fire with all the heat one night” is much more flirtatious than “I miss your penis.”

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

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2 Responses

    “giggles, hair flips and fun, nervous glances” thats alot 4 someone to remeber. what bout b urself?

      C. Price
      Cynthia (DatingAdvice.com)

      Being yourself is VERY important! You’re definitely right Debbie8888, however, online flirting can often be misread and a few things need to be explained or used as a metaphor.

      It’s a tricky lingo but once you have a fun conversation going, flirting will be effortless and remembering to flirt with your body language in person won’t be so hard to remember!

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