I’m Starting to See the True Side of Him. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

Reader Question:

I met this guy in December from Plenty of Fish. What felt like six months in a relationship was in fact only a month and a half. He has asked me to marry him and I said yes.

Now I’ve noticed he doesn’t greet me at the door when I come over. He has made comments like, “I’m bringing the house into the relationship. What are you bringing?”

I had started bringing some boxes of stuff over, but he doesn’t want to incorporate my stuff with his.

I’m getting cold feet. I feel like I’m starting to see the true side of him.

What should I do?

-Joanne (Utah)  

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Joanne,

Hold your horses! You became engaged after just six weeks of dating????

Let me tell you this: You two were not in love. You were simply infatuated and sexually aroused.

And all those attraction hormones tricked your brain into thinking this is love. And now reality is setting in for him and he’s scared to death.

First of all, you guys don’t even know each other well enough to be moving in together.

The only way you can save this relationship is to keep your own place, stop talking about marriage and get to know one another. Grow a friendship first that will become the glue down the road when the sex hormones die down.

I promise you, if you keep on this track, this relationship will become a train wreck.


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