I’m Starting to See the True Side of Him. What Should I Do?

Im Starting To See The True Side Of Him What Should I Do
Updated:
Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

Our dating experts guide readers step-by-step through relationship challenges and romantic decisions in our popular series of advice articles.

Reader Question:

I met this guy in December from Plenty of Fish. What felt like six months in a relationship was in fact only a month and a half. He has asked me to marry him and I said yes.

Now I’ve noticed he doesn’t greet me at the door when I come over. He has made comments like, “I’m bringing the house into the relationship. What are you bringing?”

I had started bringing some boxes of stuff over, but he doesn’t want to incorporate my stuff with his.

I’m getting cold feet. I feel like I’m starting to see the true side of him.

What should I do?

-Joanne (Utah)  

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Joanne,

Hold your horses! You became engaged after just six weeks of dating????

Let me tell you this: You two were not in love. You were simply infatuated and sexually aroused.

And all those attraction hormones tricked your brain into thinking this is love. And now reality is setting in for him and he’s scared to death.

First of all, you guys don’t even know each other well enough to be moving in together.

The only way you can save this relationship is to keep your own place, stop talking about marriage and get to know one another. Grow a friendship first that will become the glue down the road when the sex hormones die down.

I promise you, if you keep on this track, this relationship will become a train wreck.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

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About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

See Dr. Wendy's full bio »

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