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|Amber Brooks • 1/17/18|
The Short Version: Renowned Author, Relationship Coach, and International Dating Academy CEO Cynthia Spillman believes you have to be proactive when it comes to going after the love you truly desire. As Cynthia told us, for her clients to find “The One,” they must first turn inward to discover their true selves and what they’re looking for in a life partner. The transformative coaching delivered at International Dating Academy helps relationship seekers do just that. Cynthia’s team of experts employ research-based strategies in one-on-one coaching sessions and courses to give singles the tools necessary to achieve dating success and form fulfilling relationships.
If there were such a thing as an award for overcoming adversities, Cynthia Spillman would deserve it. Over the past 30 years, Cynthia has faced hardships — from seeing significant love relationships fade away to the death of her child — that would have left most feeling defeated.
However, through it all, Cynthia has refused to give up on her quest for true love and happiness. In 2002, she experienced a vital moment of clarity and decided to make some life-altering changes. She began to focus on fulfilling her inner world and started exploring her own relationship with self-love and contentment. Soon after, she met her soul mate.
“By the time I’d met my third husband, Peter, I’d managed to transform my inner life,” she said. “The results were almost magical. Peter was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
Cynthia didn’t want to keep the lessons she learned to herself, so she launched International Dating Academy to help others overcome their adversities in love. The Academy offers a wide range of training courses and dating coaching services that give clients a road map to find and keep compatible partners.
The Academy’s research- and experience-based approach was developed through careful analysis of thousands of successful partnerships. Cynthia’s one-stop-shop model has proven very effective. In fact, even matchmaking firms, such as the popular Vida Consultancy, have referred clients to International Dating Academy to ready them for the dating world.
“Cynthia has delivered one-on-one date coaching with a number of Vida Consultancy’s clients, with astounding results,” said Rachel Vida MacLynn, Founder of the matchmaking agency Vida. “Our clients have consistently praised her personable nature, which is a combination of wit, charm, and intelligence. Even the most confident and successful individuals have benefited from Cynthia’s coaching. The subtlest of behavioral changes can transform a person’s ability to progress from dating to being in a relationship.”
When it comes to helping daters take their relationships to the next level, International Dating Academy employs many innovative methods. Through her mastery of date coaching from years of studying psychotherapy and mindfulness, Cynthia has created a new approach to helping clients uncover their hearts and look deeper within.
“In the last few years I’ve been doing a lot more life coaching and writing,” she said. “I’ve developed a niche in mindful dating. I’ve moved away from general date coaching to mindful dating, especially as it pertains to the older woman.”
The company offers several packages that help daters turn the tide on their old lives and embrace relationships from a holistic perspective. After a consultation with an Academy expert, they can select a package right for them: Bronze, Silver, or Gold.
The packages are designed to jump-start their dating lives and help them uncover what they really want in love and life. Packages can include anywhere between four and 12 hours of coaching, a five-star professional photo shoot, a captivating online profile, and help writing emails. There’s even a package that includes personal styling.
As Academy client RP wrote in a testimonial, it was Cynthia’s guidance that helped her re-open the door to her heart.
“I’ve been married twice and have four children,” she said. “I suffered from chronically low self-esteem, and also had major trust issues, as both of my ex-husbands left me for younger women. Within six months, I met a fantastic mature man. With Cynthia’s help, I was able to get out there again, overcome my demons and find love again.”
Cynthia’s personal journey taught her the truth about love and what it takes to get it and keep it. Her courses teach clients to get to know themselves before finding a partner.
“I think my style of date coaching and my approach to it all is quite different from most other people’s because I believe that love is an inside job,” she said. “It’s the internal work that you do on yourself. Unless you can love yourself, you’re going to keep on repeating the same mistakes and attracting the wrong partners.”
Cynthia said it was her own desperation that forced her to finally wake up and go after her own happiness. Today, she and the Academy’s experts facilitate courses that show people firsthand how to attract Mr. Right as opposed to Mr. Right Now.
The Academy’s courses show students how to do their own inner work before they can form meaningful bonds with others. For Cynthia, it’s all about providing key concepts to help people understand the nuts and bolts of attracting love.
Her desire is for singles to want to face the relationship jungle with renewed courage, hope, and vigor. Academy client, DG, found this to be just what she needed to put herself out there.
“Cynthia convinced me to work initially on myself before I even went out into the dating arena,” DG said. “She was correct. As soon as I started to keep the focus on creating a great relationship with my inner self, I started to feel so much better, which inevitably transformed me into a much better life partner.”
Cynthia acknowledges that some people in the matchmaking industry sometimes don’t focus on assisting clients with love after a tragedy or loss. As a result, she’s taking time to refocus her energy on expanding her written offerings and getting her books into the hands of those who are ready to explore self-reinvention.
“I’m passionate about self-reinvention, personal recycling, and transformation,” she said. “I’ve mentored many hopeless cases who have had a seemingly total inability to find true and lasting love, including myself.”
In her book, “From Dinner Date to Soulmate: Cynthia Spillman’s Guide to Mature Dating,” Cynthia draws on her own strategies for relationship success and offers a humorous, practical, and inspirational handbook for the growing mature dating market. In addition to writing books, she’s also been commissioned to write for a number of top magazines.
She’s certainly open to more opportunities to write articles and share the work she’s so passionate about. Cynthia stands by the maxim, “There are no victims, only volunteers.” After the unexpected death of her husband, Academy client AC shared that she really needed someone like Cynthia to provide her with compassion and hope.
“My husband died very suddenly, leaving me widowed and childless at the age of 42,” AC said. “Because of Cynthia’s own experience of tragic loss and her positive example, as well as her caring and compassionate style of date coaching, I dared to believe in life again. Within a year of working with her, I met my second husband, we married, and I recently had my first baby. Miracles do happen!”
Cynthia is honored to have clients like AC and aims to support them as they soar into new and exciting chapters in their lives.
“Regardless of your age, if you follow my road maps, settling for loneliness, mediocrity or misery will no longer be a viable option — love will be your reward,” Cynthia said. “I can empower you with an armory of weapons to give yourself an emotional, spiritual and physical makeover, supporting you to embrace life, no matter how traumatic your relationship past or present.”
Cynthia is speaking from experience and pulls no punches when she tells singles there is no way to get around doing the inner work it takes to find that lasting, loving connection. She said there are simply no shortcuts and quick fixes. In fact, she remembers trying to get around doing her work and found it only led to more dissolution.
“You must be at peace with yourself,” she said. “What you put out there, you get back again. I’d previously tried all of those with the end result being that I was hurtling even further down the road to perdition and permanent loneliness at an alarming speed.”
Cynthia’s mission is to show singles that if they are willing to go the distance in honor of their own happiness, they, too, will get the outcome they’ve been dreaming of. She wants them to know that age or any other barrier they perceive as real won’t stand in the way to getting their desired partner.
“As a result of doing the work, I have a life truly beyond my wildest dreams,” she said. “I’m blissfully happy in my marriage. I have self-esteem and self-worth. Now it’s my mission in life to help others achieve the same.”