Is Your Boyfriend a Financial Cheater?

Women's Dating

Is Your Boyfriend a Financial Cheater?

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

We all know what a cheater is — a guy who steals your heart and betrays your trust through sexual infidelity. But fewer women know what a financial cheater is. And in these trying financial times with women rising in financial power, financial cheaters are running rampant.

This is a guy who steals your wallet (by getting you to open it) and betrays your trust through financial infidelity.

The obvious serial financial cheater finds his victims online and capitalizes on women’s longing for love.

The scenario goes like this:

You meet a great guy online. You date for a few months. You and he are head over heels. He’s got a story about a business failure, an old illness that racked up medical bills, or a hefty child support payment he’s happy to pay. You take pity on this good guy who was hard on his luck. But he tells you today he is fine and building his financial stability again.

At some point among the cocktails and feather bedding, you two decide to go on a romantic vacation — Paris perhaps. You are giddy with young girl love. This man is so kind and so attentive.

The problems start when his credit card gets declined in Europe. “No worries,” you say. You are determined to have a romantic vacation and besides, you can afford it. So, you pull out your credit card. Mr. Financial Cheater is full of apologies and makes a good show of shameful feelings. But you and he manage to have a fabulous time and by the time you return, you are hearing wedding bells.

That’s when things fizzle. Turns out Mr. Financial Cheater begins to lose interest when your wallet isn’t handy. And soon he disappears altogether. At this point he has moved on to another woman.

He has to prove he’s loyal and honest.

Sadly, this scenario gets played out all too often, especially with older divorced women and widows. The heartbreak along with the financial injury is a hard pill to take. Bottom line, if he’s not sacrificing somehow, he’s using you. It’s perfectly OK to underwrite a big chunk of the relationship as long as he has proven himself to be loyal and honest. If he isn’t sacrificing in nonfinancial ways, then you should be cautious.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of “The 30 Day Love Detox.” (Rodale, Jan 2013)