Men Who Stroke Your Ego, Not Your Heart

Women's Dating

Men Who Stroke Your Ego, Not Your Heart

Dr. Wendy Walsh Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14

We are in a tenuous time with relationships. Loose attachments with low criteria and no commitment are making women feel insecure about love.

Rather than being brave enough to make their needs known and demand relationship definition, too many women are massaging their bruised egos with a cadre of men who bring women false power.

In fact, most single women have about five loose attachments that do not add up to even one secure bond.

1. The first love.

Whether he’s a high school sweetheart or you met him in college, this guy will always have your heart.

You two aren’t in frequent contact but still manage to connect with a card or a phone call for birthdays and holidays.

You don’t remember exactly why you two ended things, so staying in touch doesn’t hurt. You think if all else fails, maybe he could be in your future as well as your past.

2. The most recent ex.

You thought he was “The One,” and maybe he still could be. Your relationship timing was just really bad, but the relationship was great. He got you like no one else ever has.

Even though you two are broken up, there’s still an inkling of hope you may rekindle this relationship sometime in the future, so he’s still on your radar.

“Giving your attention to people who

aren’t caring is hurting yourself.”

3. Mr. Right Now.

He’s your current fling, the one you’ve been texting and hooking up with most recently, but there’s no commitment or official relationship status yet.

He gives you butterflies and anxiety over whether this relationship is real or just friends with benefits.

4. Mr. Facebook Friend.

He’s the guy who has digitally enticed you with flirty messages and comments on your pictures. You may know him in real life or simply just have a few mutual friends who’ve never introduced you two.

There’s some potential if things with Mr. Right Now don’t move into serious relationship territory.

5. The friendly acquaintance.

This is the guy you occasionally pass by on the elevator and in the hallways at work. He’s handsome and he doesn’t have a ring on, which means he’s fair game.

He gives you the occasional compliment and suggestive smile. You figure you’ll keep him on your radar because why not?

Having plenty of man options may seem like a good idea, but this kind of pretend power may actually keep you from being aware of your emotional needs and finding one secure relationship to meet them.

Relationships are an exchange of care and giving your attention to people who clearly are not caring for you is hurting yourself.

This is essentially the new porn for women, pieces of relationships that are a poor substitute for real love. Do the man detox to find a real relationship.

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